Thoughts scattered, as crumbs on the table. Forgotten there by chance or with intent.
When I was young, I was often overwhelmed by the opinion of others. My self-esteem, too fragile and precarious, often was under the weight of those small words.
Today I can’t accept them and when I perceive of negativity, I suffer but I run away. Distant and wounded.
I’m so tired of being here.
No, I haven’t learned yet that negative and pessimistic people have to stay out of my life, light-years far away. I have not yet learned that the people who judge you are slimy, they make you talk by making you believe that they are the ones to open up and instead they are lurking there to take advantage to throw all their dissatisfaction and frustration at you. I can’t stand anyone who tells me how to think, how to act, who to be. And I still stupid believe it, naive as always. I am not angry because I am interested in this specific person, I am angry because even today I am not able to understand and defend myself from these people and their negative energy.
Cadency of a drop is something that I have already had in my mind. A project where I merged the arts that I love, drawing, dancing, filming and writing. It’s not perfect, it was not born to be perfect. It’s a sperimental project (it’s right: I wrote sperimental and not amatorial) that for sure will not win at Cannes, but it was not born to be this kind of film.
The concept was born some years ago and the illustrations were created during the production, but the studies of the graphic was alredy built. The choreography is improvisation and not classical ballet, then don’t expect the perfection, the movement is dirty: drops haven’t a perfect path.
I’m not trying to justify something, but it has to be clearwhat was the aim of the project, and why I have created it.
The project was created in 10 days, everything in 10 days. My professional friend Annalisa Cosentino (@_digitaltwilight_ Twilight) was the best director I could have, she understood the project, the purpose, the difficulties, the art direction and the feelings.
Now you could understand the kind of artist I am. I can’t live without merging all my arts, all my life. This is what I mean when I say that I can’t see the world without a synestesic point of view.
I can do a perfect art direction in a project, just this with only one kind of art, but if you need a more complicated project, something different, this is what I am. What I am always been.
In Italy it should be remembered more often that we have centuries of art behind us. Instead there are those who, with just 100 years of progress behind them, feel superior.
Discover that your instinct was right is not a great consolation
There is just one thing I can’t forgive: lies.
And lies always come up, first or later.
What I more dislike in this global situation is who is trying to earn from desperation of people.
Help others is another thing.
I don’t give up, even if I have to starve under the bridge.
From September, probably for the first time in my life, I am really happy about my work-situation. I’m doing interesting projects, meeting great people, enjoying myself when I work. I am happy. Busy, stressed, but happy about my work-life.
Today I was in my contemporary dance class, and, for the first time since I dance, the teacher asked me to show the choreography of Monday. I was famous in the past to have the worst memory about choreography. My ex-teachers know it. And today someone trusted in me and everything was fine.
Something is changed. I am changed.
I am happy.
