I can’t breathe. I miss the air,
Sitting here, trying to think about how to manage everything, trying to feel less useless and meaningless. There is too much noise around and this silence inside of me is too much dangerous. I try not to drown in this dirty puddle I created. I guess I’m dying inside, in silence. I don’t want to bother anybody.
I sit down in the corner, the reason he treats me like I’m nothing, perhaps, it’s because I’m nothing.
I’m like the water… everything flows out and I always find a way. No hopes to bother me…
Sometimes I realised I escape from situations and persons. I fear about depressed people, I’m not able to face that black tunnel and when I see it from distance I simply escape. There was a time I felt empathy so much towards problematic people, now I simply help from a limited distance, I’m not able anymore. I know really well what means. At the end you are always alone with yourself, only you can decide your future, you can lie to yourself, continuing say that life is againts you, but there is only an enemy of your serenity: it’s you. I’m not justify my uselessness, just explain why I choose to not be part of your falling.
For years I was drowned down by the duty of trying to be original and change the world with my job. the best lie “you have to be original to be remembered, you have to be unique”
Now I understand, when someone asks me “what are you doing?’ I answer “ I just do things that make me feel good”. And my point of view changed, and the creativity is growing up. But first of all I feel good and happy.
Never let someone says what you are able to do, what is your journey, what do you have to do, who you are. The way will be clear, we have our own path. Suggestions are precious when they don’t bring you down.
Work for your path, for you evolution, for your balance. Use you eyes to evolve yourself and never forget the humility.
Thoughts scattered, as crumbs on the table. Forgotten there by chance or with intent.
When I was young, I was often overwhelmed by the opinion of others. My self-esteem, too fragile and precarious, often was under the weight of those small words.
Today I can’t accept them and when I perceive of negativity, I suffer but I run away. Distant and wounded.
I’m so tired of being here.
No, I haven’t learned yet that negative and pessimistic people have to stay out of my life, light-years far away. I have not yet learned that the people who judge you are slimy, they make you talk by making you believe that they are the ones to open up and instead they are lurking there to take advantage to throw all their dissatisfaction and frustration at you. I can’t stand anyone who tells me how to think, how to act, who to be. And I still stupid believe it, naive as always. I am not angry because I am interested in this specific person, I am angry because even today I am not able to understand and defend myself from these people and their negative energy.
Cadency of a drop is something that I have already had in my mind. A project where I merged the arts that I love, drawing, dancing, filming and writing. It’s not perfect, it was not born to be perfect. It’s a sperimental project (it’s right: I wrote sperimental and not amatorial) that for sure will not win at Cannes, but it was not born to be this kind of film.
The concept was born some years ago and the illustrations were created during the production, but the studies of the graphic was alredy built. The choreography is improvisation and not classical ballet, then don’t expect the perfection, the movement is dirty: drops haven’t a perfect path.
I’m not trying to justify something, but it has to be clearwhat was the aim of the project, and why I have created it.
The project was created in 10 days, everything in 10 days. My professional friend Annalisa Cosentino (@_digitaltwilight_ Twilight) was the best director I could have, she understood the project, the purpose, the difficulties, the art direction and the feelings.
Now you could understand the kind of artist I am. I can’t live without merging all my arts, all my life. This is what I mean when I say that I can’t see the world without a synestesic point of view.
I can do a perfect art direction in a project, just this with only one kind of art, but if you need a more complicated project, something different, this is what I am. What I am always been.